On Death

He had a normal sleep that night or almost normal.

He had woken up from a dream.

He had died in his dream.

As the fact of his own death dawned on him, he lay petrified at that very instance. He was afraid.

And slowly he began feeling sorry for having died.

He had made so many plans some for his own self and some rather large grandiose visions concerning ‘humanity’.

And now after his death, those plans would die their own deaths.

That was purely the materialistic part affecting his mental state after his death.

His mind ambled for a while in causalities and after effects. He concluded that his death was a loss to be mourned by his own self.

Then he proceeded to the effects it would cause on people and concluded that the world would be just as fine as it was before. It was not an event to be celebrated or mourned but one of the many mundane events that crowd the lives of selves.

So he was feeling sorry for having died.

Having thus concluded, he wanted to reverse the chain of events to bring his own self back to life.

More slowly, now when he lay in mourning another thought crossed his mind.

His death would also impart a sense of finality to all his travails and desires. Suddenly he was suffused with a sense of utter humility and blankness. He had never experienced such a state of mind as this one. This sense of finality, this sense of closure was after all a fact.

Materially speaking,“So where would the elements seek refuge when they have disintegrated into further minute particles?” “Nowhere”, he thought.

So after all, this notion of finitude which contained humble mumble jumble of daily life (read home-road-office-home) as well as ‘grandiose visions for humanity’ was a fact. So this must be taken as a fact, nothing less nothing more.

Slowly and very slowly now he was feeling less sorry for having died. Somehow he was feeling a little better as the realization of finitude dawned on him.

And now he was fine with his death and with the chain of events leading to it. He did not want any reversal of this chain. He saw death as a charming lady inviting his self into her open bosom.

Meanwhile the sun was rising in the sky. The sunlight filled his room and he opened his eyes.

The harsh rays of the sun penetrated his eyes and finding himself to be alive, he felt cheated.