This Business of Living

 

The vapid churning afire

Gurgling streams with desire

Sumptuous,

Endearing,

Enticing,

Beguiling,

                                                   Monotonous.

This vapid churn

This rapid turn

Moving in circles

This selfishness

This crassness

This bitterness

Yonder and yonder

Like a lamp lit

Below the stars

 

All the innocence

Charred to death

All the pretence gone

I see my folks

Striving

                       rapidly

                       firmly

                      confidently

                                         towards the cesspool

                                                                         Of muck and dirt.

Confident, brash, crass, vulgar

The accumulation has started

The vapidness of it all

Such is the system

Ready

                    To embrace,

To encircle,

To enslave.

 

All this muck and dirt

At times confounding

At times bewildering

At times bewitching

At times murderous

With constant assault on soul

Trading peace and goodness

with scraps

Of some currency notes,

And some goods for comfort

 

But is there no heaviness?

In heart

Or on the soul

Or the Unbearable lightness of being

Has evaporated it all

The innocence,

The goodness,

The purity

 

What will remain when all this is gone

This business of living

Of surviving

Of being a part of the murderous mob

Will extract its price

May be some day

The soul all hardened up

Will give way

Till it has lost everything

And has become a part of the crowd.

 

This vapidness of it all

When I would have murdered myself

Completely

Staring at the blood oozing from my veins

Flowing into the muck

When my blood becomes one with the muck

And the muck becomes one with my blood.

Then I shall freeze

To Death

 

 

 

इंतज़ार

कटे हुए सेब, अनार के दाने

अंजीर, खजूर और अखरोट

कटोरियों में करीने से

सजाते हुए

आपका इंतज़ार कर रहा था.

आप आये तो नहीं

पर, हाँ, एक नज़्म

ज़रूर आई

आते-आते ही बोली

यहाँ क्या करते हो

मैंने कहा- इंतज़ार.

बस यूहीं.

I Remember you

As the year draws to a close
I remember you
Your travails, your pain
Your happiness, your well-being
Your goodness and my shortcomings
I remember you
I remember you
As the moon traverses silently across
The foggy sky
I remember you
I remember you
As the stars alight the sky
I remember you
And as the passage of time
Continues unhindered, untethered
I remember you.
I remember you.

On Cold Winter Nights

On cold winter nights

When the fog roams

Over my head

I look at the stars.

I look at the long-standing trees

Throwing their long shadows around

I try to peep at the moon,

Hiding behind those trees.

Well, if you have seen

The stars, the trees, the moon

You will know that

The trees accept you

Just like you are.

They do not judge you.

They talk to you.

They listen to you.

Patiently.

They throw their dark and deep

Shadows over my head.

Enveloping me like a child

Letting me feel safe and sound

In their midst.

As the fog circles around my head.

On cold winter nights.

Such Boisterous Girls

Such boisterous girls

In the prime of their youth

Unshackled from the dreary routines

Of preparing for an examination

Laughing and shouting and singing as

If the world be damned

But their spaces secured

Dumping all the worries

Outside the rambling bus

Singing songs-

Of happiness

Of heartbreaks

Of separation

Of longings

Of desires.

Was it a cacophony?

Or a symphony?

Does it matter?

Relieved as if life had

Given them a chance

For redemption

For moving on

They laughed and sang

They sang and laughed

And I felt happy.

Such boisterous girls.

आँखें

कल मैं तुम्हारी हलकी पनिहाली

आँखों में देख रहा था

शायद तुमने काजल लगाया था

ठीक से पता नहीं

लेकिन उन हलकी गहरी आँखों में मैंने

कई प्रतिबिम्बों को उभरते देखा

चलचित्र वाली फ्लैश-बैक की तरह

कई चेहरे, शिकवे, शिकायतें, आशाएं

मुस्कुराहटें और घबराहट भी

ग्रीक नाटकों वाली

ट्रेजेडी और कॉमेडी की तरह

जीवन दर्शन के सूत्र उभरते जा रहे थे

तुम्हारी हलकी पनिहाली आँखों में

एक स्वेटर सा बुनता जा रहा था

ऊन के गोले सिमटते जाते  

पैटर्न उभरता जाता

तुम्हारी आँखों में देखते-देखते

पता ही नहीं चला

दिन कब का ढल चुका था.

शायद अंतिम दृश्य उभर रहा था.

धुंधलका हो रहा था

शाम हो रही थी

जाते-जाते मैंने एक मृग को देखा

फिर वह गायब हो गया.

और तुम भी गायब हो गयी

ध्यान टूटने पर सोचा

शायद यह सब एक

मृगतृष्णा का अंश था

मृगतृष्णा

छोटी-छोटी मुस्कुराहटें

छोटी-छोटी मुस्कुराहटें

फ़ैल रही है अधरों के छोर पे

मंदिरों के टिमटिमाते दिए जैसे

भीनी भीनी सी खुशबू की तरह

छोटी छोटी मुस्कुराहटें

हलकी हलकी सी फुहारें

मीठी-मीठी सी तान

कुम्हलाई, अलसाई, उन्नीदी  

हलकी सी शिकन

ख़ामोशी

और फिर वही

छोटी छोटी मुस्कुराहटें